Blacking Out the Friction
by Sushi Chi
Summary: Ianto and Owen are stuck in the middle of no where. Implied Janto


**Disclaimer: If I did own Torchwood I would not write fanfiction. In fact, my stories might even make it into the show. But I don't. So they don't. Sad really.  
A/N: This story jumps about a bit. Just to let 'cha know. Also, the title comes from a song by Death Cab for Cutie.  
Oh yes, and of course you are more than welcome to review. In fact, I rather enjoy reviews, me. But only if you feel like the story deserves a review, mind.  
On with the story?**

Ianto sighed deeply before leaning forward and opening the glove compartment. He was muttering to himself as he rummaged through it. Only to find it empty of what he was looking for. Growling slightly he turned and started to climb into the back seat of the Torchwood SUV through the little slot between the driver's and passenger's seat.

"Oi!" Owen barked as Ianto did this, "I don't know what you think you're doing, but I don't want to see your arse."

Ianto sighed again and sat back down in the passenger seat, "I'm hungry and someone has eaten all the food I had stashed in the glove compartment. I was trying to get to the other stash." He indicated to the glove compartment, full of papers and wrappers from previously eaten food.

"Why didn't you just go out your door and then get in the back through the back door?!" Owen yelled, annoyed.

"Because on my side of the SUV is a large ravine with a very small ledge and I'm really not too keen on the idea of falling all the down to the bottom of it!" Ianto yelled right back.

Owen really had nothing to say to that.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"What?" Owen asked, eyebrow raised in a way that Ianto would be proud of.

"I said," Jack started, "An alien was spotted a ways away and I want you and Ianto to look into it. By the description it sounds like a Hoix."

"Jack?" Ianto's voice came out of no where, he seemed to be very good at sneaking up on anyone and everyone, "You seriously want Owen and me to be stuck in a car for hours at a time?"

"Well you two do seem to get along so well since Owen died." Jack shot out, "I thought that maybe you both could bond a bit more."

Owen blinked, "I repeat: What?"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Gah," Owen thumped his head against the steering wheel, "How long as is it been since we called them for help?"

Ianto looked at his stopwatch, "Ten minutes and four seconds."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The ride there was in silence. With the exceptions of when Owen had to ask Ianto the directions.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Owen heard Ianto exclaim happily followed by a groan, "What is it now, Teaboy?"

Ianto snorted, "It figures that I finally found food but it's half eaten by Jack." He crawled back into the front seat, rolling down the window and throwing the half eaten food out and watched it fall down the large ravine.

"How do you know it's Jack who ate most of it?" Owen eyed the Welshman as he rolled the window back up.

"First off, it's Jack's favorite snack. Second, it's Jack. Third, those are his bite marks-"

"Woah!" Owen exclaimed, "I do not want to even hear how you know Jack's bite marks."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"What the hell is that?" Owen asked as he walked up the now dead alien. Or at least, he hoped it was dead. They had shot it full of bullets but that didn't always stop them.

"Whatever it is, it is not a Hoix." Ianto answered, bending down next to it. "Possibly related though."

"Alright then. Help me pack this thing up." Owen pointed to the alien. The two started to do the clean up. Ianto doing most of the work, including retconning the witnesses.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Time?" Owen asked once again.

Ianto opened his eyes and glanced at his stopwatch, "Hour and seventeen minutes."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

There was a sudden popping noise followed by the SUV slowing down.

"What the hell did you do?" Ianto asked, glaring at Owen.

"Me? Who says it is my fault?" Owen glared back.

"Need I remind you, you are the one driving."

"Need I point out that it might just be something wrong with the SUV and has nothing at all, to do with the driver?"

"Oi!" Ianto's glare got darker, "There is no way whatsoever that the problem would be something mechanical. I keep the SUV in top notch condition."

Owen paused, "Apparently not."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"So, what did Jack to do finally make you have sex with him?" Owen found himself asking after a long length of silence.

Ianto raised an eyebrow, "I thought you didn't want to hear any of that stuff?"

Owen shrugged, "I'm dead. I have to live through other people. So spill."

Ianto smirked, "Who said it was Jack who initiated the relationship?"

Owen's mouth few open then closed and opened again, "You mean you?"

"Yep." Ianto smirked.

"You're joking."

Ianto rolled his eyes, "Is it so hard to believe?"

"Yes." Owen replied right away. He paused, "So?"

Ianto paused, "Fine, I'll tell you the basics." He paused, "I propositioned him over Suzie's dead body with a stopwatch."

Owen's mouth fell open again, "You what?" He glanced at the stopwatch in Ianto's hand. "That stopwatch?" He seemed horrified with the idea that they were using the same stopwatch.

"Oh no." Ianto replied, "That one broke that night. Had to buy a new one."

Owen's mouth gaped like a fish once again before shutting loudly. "I don't wanna know."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Thank God, Jack!" Ianto said into his phone, "Owen and I are kinda, well, we're stuck." He paused listening to Jack, "Yes sir, it's all Owen's fault."

"Oi!" Owen yelled, "We've been over this!"

"Yeah, and you should rent a tow truck-oh. We have a tow truck." He paused, "Why do we have a tow truck." He paused again, "Oh, alright."

"Let me talk to him." Owen held out his hand.

"Hm. Yes. Please be quick about it before either Owen tries to kill me or I try and make him stay dead."

"Phone, Ianto. Hand me the phone."

"Right. See you then." He hung up and looked at the dead man in the driver's seat, "Oh. Sorry, did you want to talk to Jack?"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"I spy with my little eye, something that starts with a 'g'."

"Grass."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Dammit!" Ianto growled as he blinked. He put his fingers over his eye lids for a second.

"Face it, Ianto," Owen started, "You cannot defeat me at a staring contest. I'm dead, I don't have to blink."

A mischievous smirk fell on Ianto's face, "Oh? Well we'll see about that." He opened his eyes, "I guarantee that I'll win this time."

"Yan, come on. You can't win."

"Wanna bet on it?" Ianto asked.

Owen perked up, "Now, if I were a decent man, I'd feel bad if I agreed to the bet as I'd just be taking your money-"

"Well then, it's a good thing you're not a decent man, Owen." Ianto chuckled.

"I totally agree. Five quid?"

"Ten quid." Ianto suggested. Then he shrugged at the look Owen gave him, "I know, I know. You're dead. You don't blink. So, you gonna take the ten quid bet or not?"

"Deal."

The two began to stare at each other. But Ianto wasn't going to loose. He had a plan. Very quickly he reached his hand out and stuck it in front of Owen's face, causing the dead man to jump back and blink in surprise. "What the hell, Ianto?!"

Ianto smirked, "I win."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Owen sighed, "How long now? Shouldn't Jack be here?"

Ianto looked once again at his stopwatch, "Two hours and twelve minutes." He sighed and looked out the window, "He should be here any second now."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

When Jack finally showed up with a tow truck he was surprised by what he found as he walked up to the parked SUV. The SUV itself looked normal only on the side of the road. Also, it was on the edge of a huge ravine and that worried Jack a bit. But what worried him more is the sight he saw when he looked inside the SUV. He had expected either the two of them staring off in silence, not saying a word to one another or trying to kill the other.

So when he saw them laughing hysterically, Jack got worried.

He walked up and tapped on the driver side's window. He could hear their laughter from outside. Ianto was wiping tears from laughing too much away and Owen was doubled over.

Owen opened the door as he spoke, both calmed down a bit, "No." He protested, "He didn't do that! Did he?"

Ianto nodded, "He did."

The both glanced at Jack and started laughing at full force again. Jack glared at them, "I come to save both of you from each other and I am thanked by you guys laughing at me?"

"Jack," Ianto managed to choke out, "I'm not laughing at you," He paused for a second, "I'm laughing with Owen."

Owen chuckled as he got out of the SUV, "Though I may be laughing at you."

Ianto slid out of the driver's side after Owen, "I would never laugh at you, Jack. That would just be rude of me." He paused as they managed to be calmed down once again, "On the way back we need to stop at the nearest place with food. I'm starved."

Owen nodded, "It's true. How often do you let him eat, Jack?"

Jack gaped, "I don't- wait. What? I mean-" He paused, not sure what to say when Ianto came to his rescue.

"Jack does not run my life, thanks very much, Owen. I choose when I eat." He said curtly. "Now, shall we fetch me something to eat and then get back home? I bloody loathe the countryside, me."

"As do I." Owen and Ianto were soon in the tow truck leaving Jack standing outside unsure as to what exactly just happened.


End file.
